Who Needs Fairy Tales?

23.

Hmm. It doesn't look as old as it sounds coming out of my mouth. I turned 23 a couple weeks ago, and I'm pretty sure the saddest thing about it is that I can no longer sing T. Swift's, "22," at the top of my lungs on a daily basis without even a hint of guilt. I guess if that's the biggest struggle in my life, I've got it pretty good.

Ah, if only it were that simple. 

I've discovered something recently: getting older, while it has it's perks, comes with some downfalls as well. One of those down falls? More people probing me for the details of my dating life. Maybe it's all in my head, but it certainly seems like the older I get the more people ask. Perhaps they're getting nervous that I'm approaching the age that has been deemed, "menace to society." Just a gentle reminder to those of you who may be concerned, I still have two more years.

It's funny how life never quite plays out how you planned. Yet somehow, God orchestrates things to play out in a much more complex and beautiful way than we ever could have imagined.

All my life, I dreamed of being married at 21. Don't ask me where the number came from, I have no idea. It's just how I saw everything happening in my head. Clearly, that's not how things went down. But so far, I'd say things turned out much better. Even though on paper, it doesn't quite add up. Let me explain.

I served a mission at 19 and... well... yeah. That's about where I'm at.

I was talking with one of my roommates earlier today about my graduating class's upcoming 5 Year Reunion. Yeah, it's been five years since I graduated high school. Thaaaat's weird. "I just don't want to go," I confessed to her, "almost everyone I was close with in high school has done something with their life. Most of them are married, some of them have kids, many have graduated from college, have grown-up jobs... a few are even running their own businesses. And what have I done?" I asked. "I've served a mission, which is great, but so has almost everyone else." For a few moments, I felt like a lost cause. "Why would I want to go to a reunion? I have nothing to tell anyone."

Then, a little light crept into my heart. You've done great things, something inside of me whispered, just because they can't be measured on the same scale as life-time mile-stones, doesn't mean you're hopeless. That's when it clicked.

I don't have to be married or even dating anyone to have a successful and exciting life. I'm in college, and although I'm taking my sweet time, I'm enjoying myself and getting pretty dang good grades. I have been blessed with countless opportunities to travel for all sorts of reasons. I spent 4 months in California with my sister's family, spending time with them and traveling up and down the California coast. I've gone on road trips, and have plans to go on even more this summer. I've made hundreds of friends in the past 5 years, and have a job and co-workers that I wouldn't trade for the world. I've picked up some new hobbies including snowboarding and dancing. And no matter how many thousands of people have served missions, no one in the world has served the exact same mission as I did. No one's mission was as amazing as mine.

In my personal study, I've been learning a lot about humility, and a big part of humility is trusting in the Lord's timing. If things had gone my way, if I'd been married at 21, I would have missed out on so many of the beautiful blessings and cherished memories I can now claim because of the past 3 years. He sees it all. He knows the end from the beginning. His plan is so much better than mine. It's one of those, "Well, duh," moments. I know. But I guess I've always been a bit of a slow learner. It takes time for things to really sink in my hard head. Or as the Hawaiians say, po'o pakiki. Thankfully, God is pretty patient with me.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, life continues to surprise me. I may not be where I planned, but I'm no where near where I was. I've grown so much in the past 5 years. Heck, reading through old blog posts, I can't believe how far I've come in the past year. The Lord is so good to me. He treats me better than I deserve.

It's like my friend Lindsey Fossum posted on Facebook the other day, "I often find myself believing that all I truly want in life is a true love...Today, I realized that the true love of my life is my life." And even though I don't know what the Lord has in store for me in the coming months and years, the way I see it, with him as the author of my life, who needs fairy tales?

"God's promises are not always fulfilled as quickly or in the way we might hope."

-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf